Showing posts with label christianity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label christianity. Show all posts

Monday, July 16, 2018

Humanistic Psychology and Spiritual Elitism

"And of the children of Issachar, which were men that had understanding of the times, to know what Israel ought to do; the heads of them were two hundred; and all their brethren were at their commandment." ~ ! Chronicles 12:32

I used to have a man who mentored me spiritually. I had asked him to because I thought he would be a good fit for me.

Unfortunately, he was (and probably still is) part of the camp whose typical advice can be clichéd into "just pray and read your Bible."

In a sense, I get where that line of thinking comes from. It is, after all, the Spirit that dwells within us that guides us into all truth (1 John 1:27).

But God, in his incredible humility, also allows us to need each other:

  • "God" is actually a Trinity of persons and thus a circle of relationship (1 John 5:7)
  • God brings all the animals before Adam and, lacking true companionship, makes him a wife, Eve (Genesis 2:18-22)
  • Most of the Ten Commandments (6/10) deal with horizontal (human) relationships (Exodus 20:1-17)
  • We are called to love one another (Mark 12:31)
Although we could get everything from God, He allows us to be fed from others.

This is where my mentor comes back in.

He strongly emphasized, on several occasions, how useless modern psychology is to the spiritual life. And rightly so (1 Corinthians 2:14).

But my profession is that of a teacher. There are restrictions on how I am allowed to share my faith when interacting with students.

And so I must avail myself of the best psychological science available when attempting to help them with their struggles (in addition to praying for them).

It's for this reason that I must dip my toes into the "terrible" (for him) waters of psychology (similar to the way, as a Protestant I've dipped my toes into some Catholic schools of thought).

It is also a passion of mine, something that lights my inner fires.

And the world needs more people who are alive.

So while that advice is good for me, it also has its limits.

Just as all human advice does.




Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Unexpected Thoughts on Charlottesville, Richmond, and Confederate Statues

Perhaps this is just the wrong week to try to not be political lol.

This whole deal in Charlottesville is literally hitting close to home, especially with a petition for a rally next month in Richmond.

I’ve been reflecting the last couple days on the relationship between my religion and my politics. American Christians --liberal or conservative -- have strong feelings about their political beliefs, and I’m certainly not immune to that.

Tensions and tempers are particularly high around the issue of removing statues that represent part of our history. The opportunity to pause and reflect on exactly what my relationship to culture as a Christian should be is staring me in the face, and I’ve given it some thought.

One of the great things about the kingdom of God is its ability to transcend culture and government. As a Church, we can wage spiritual war in any culture and under any government.

Which implies that we also shouldn’t be too attached to our culture or government.

I was, initially, against the removal of statues of Confederate generals; after all, it’s part of our history. Besides, I’m not a fan of changing something just because someone is offended by it.

Enter Scott Adams.

The reason for my fascination with him is because he provides an alternative viewpoint that I don’t find anywhere else. I don’t agree with everything he says, but he is a uniquely smart and insightful man that provides fairly consistent commentary on current events.

Scott Adams posted a video with his take on the removal of Confederate statues. The first point he brought up was, “Why don’t we remove statues of FDR since he imprisoned Japanese Americans in internment camps?” Wow, great related point.

Dealing with this from a persuasion perspective (his niche perspective), he stated that America’s “brand” is basically “freedom and opportunity.” We pro-freedom (anti-slavery) and pro-capitalism (anti-communism). But there are people who see these statues and, because of their life experiences, interpret them as continued evidence that America is racist.

(I don’t believe America is racist. There's a lot of thought behind this belief, but for the purpose of the blog, I’ll leave it at that.)

The true America is a set of ideas about freedom and opportunity. It is not the dirt that we live on nor is it encompassed in the objects that adorn it.

If removing the statues helps someone who has been impacted by cultural differences or had personal experience encounters with racism view America as less racist, then I’m on board:

“So if what I eat causes another believer to sin, I will never eat meat again as long as I live--for I don't want to cause another believer to stumble.” (1 Corinthians 8:13)

History is not being re-written (that’s still in the books), so calm down, Chicken Little.

A great way to go about this would be to auction them off to private citizens/organizations (hat tip to NattyZ).

All that being said, I feel that Mayor Stoney’s idea to provide context to the statues on Monument Ave is a great compromise between changing nothing and changing everything.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

The Ultimate Acts of Humility: Transparency, Vulnerability, Surrender

For anyone who doesn't know, I attend Celebrate Recovery meetings. A guy came in last week for the first time and bared his soul to a room of strangers.

I was blown away by his humility.

First, it takes humbling yourself to even show up; then it's another thing entirely to open up and speak those things which you secretly wish no one would ever find out.

It takes incredible humility to come to terms with and admit that you're terribly broken.

This thought crossed my mind that night:

Transparency, vulnerability, and surrender are among the most humble of actions available to the human heart.

You can't be transparent without being vulnerable:


I didn't upload the video, but it is, by far, one of my favorite movie scenes of all time: there is a part of me that would love to do what Stu does, to come clean and admit all my wrongs, to be completely transparent, to stop hiding.

But I'm not sure people will like what's underneath, and I desperately want to be accepted of them.

And so I hide.

Having pastors tell you from the pulpit that they don't have any tolerance for those who struggle doesn't exactly help, either.

But back to humility: you can't surrender without making yourself vulnerable, either.

Jesus certainly modeled this when he humbled himself and was surrendered to his Father's will, to die on a cross (Luke 22:42, Philippians 2:8).

I also realized during this meeting that if I could've healed myself, I would've already.

But my wounds are beyond my skill to heal (if I even have any).

And because I'm wounded, I act in ways that hurt others. As the saying goes, "Hurt people hurt people."

This doesn't make me a jerk; it just means that I'm broken.

In my mind, I know that what's required is to humble myself and surrender to God, allow myself to be vulnerable and to let him in, to allow his love to transform me from the inside, out.

In my heart, it's another story. Oh, how many things there are to vie for our attention these days...

My heart has made agreements with where it believes it will find life, and so it goes looking for what it believes is "life" in things that aren't healthy (Proverbs 14:12, anyone?).

I know that my mind can keep my heart in check...


...but given a choice between chocolate and vegetables, in the moment I choose chocolate, but 20 minutes later when I'm sick to my stomach, I'll wish that I had chosen the veggies.

To quote C.S. Lewis,
The heart never takes the place of the [mind]: but it can, and should, obey it.
Even though we're emotional creatures, we have the ability to be rational as well; we just have to separate ourselves from our emotions in the moment. Not always -- or ever -- an easy thing to do, but we become the men/women that we want through the choosing in the little moments.

So here's to choosing God when it matters: when our hearts desperately need him, even though we may, in the moment, want something else more than him...

Monday, August 4, 2014

A Different Perspective on the Gospel

Imagine a man whose brother has kidnapped and killed his wife on their honeymoon. He can rescue and resurrect his wife, but only if he lays his own life down at his brother’s murderous hands. And as much as he wants his brother to repent, he also knows that, by laying down his life, he not only saves his wife, but secures the means by which his brother will be judged.

Now imagine that, once his wife comes back to life, she no longer wants him. She would rather be with her kidnapper, the worst case of Stockholm Syndrome you ever came across — to the point that it wasn’t just his brother’s desire that he died, but hers as well.

Imagine his heartbreak for the wife who no longer wants him.

Imagine the heartbreak because of the brother who betrayed him by kidnapping & murdering his wife.

Imagine the fierce intention he would exhibit in pursuing them to rescue her, knowing he could bring her back and turn her heart towards him again.

Jesus is the husband.
Satan is represented by the brother.
We are the wife.

Satan is not equal with God, but he was given a place closer to Him than any other created being — and then betrayed Him, and turned us against Him as well.

We can turn back to our original Lover, but only if we allow Him into our hearts to release our focus from this world to Him.

If we choose not to, not only do we pass up the greatest source of Love in existence — one that would readily lay down His life for us — but we also secure ourselves a place with the “brother” at the coming judgment for our betrayal.

"For my people have committed two evils: (1) they have forsaken me, the Fountain of Living Waters, and (2) they have carved out cisterns; broken cisterns, that can hold no water." (Jeremiah 2:13)

You may not have knowingly chosen against or betrayed God, but ignorance does not not excuse your choices.

Now that you know, what will you do with that knowledge?

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Divided: An Open Letter to the Disaffected Youth of the Church

I hope this finds you well.

I don’t know where you are in your walk with God, but I hope that this can help, regardless of whatever “chair” you may be in.

* I put “chair” in quotes as if to use it loosely or sarcastically; to (attempt to) quantify the spiritual life as only fitting in 3 stages is to think analytically, not poetically (more on that later).

When I became a Christian, there was a profound change in my heart, and one of the things that I set out to do was to be eternally available to anyone who needed my help for any reason.

Basically, I set out to be the nicest guy someone could meet.

But that’s not what Jesus is about.

I mean, he came to send swords, for crying out loud (Matthew 10:34).

And he set out to accomplish much more than that in his time here on Earth. He came to fulfill the law and restore what was lost (Matthew 5:17, Luke 19:10).

What a lot of people don’t understand, however, is that the “fulfilling of the law” is not accomplished in following rules, but inside of your heart.

When Jesus stepped on the scene, the Pharisees – the religious leaders – were teaching people left and right that in order to accomplish one’s salvation – that the whole point of their religion – was to do these things and not do those things.

Pathetic.

Jesus comes and, in the Sermon on the Mount, lays out the profound depth of the intent of the law:
  • It’s not just committing adultery if you sleep with someone, but looking at them with lust (Matthew 5:27-28).
  • Killing is not just taking a life, but hatred without cause (Matthew 5:21-22).
  • “Loving your neighbor” is not just those you get along with, but even those who hate your guts (Matthew 5:43-44).
It’s so easy to get sucked in to rule-keeping and following a list of do’s and don’ts.

This is what almost happened to me as a young believer in college.

Then something happened that changed my life just as much – if not more – than when I became a Christian, and that had to do with how I viewed my faith.

In the summer of 2003, I read a book that irreversibly impacted me. That book was Wild at Heart by John Eldredge.

What I realized is that a lot of what the church tries to do is get guys to do the right thing.

And it bores us to death.

Don’t get me wrong, because doing the right thing is good.

But doing the right thing only because it’s the right thing goes back to the rule-keeping that Jesus came to free us from.

Religious people are especially bad at missing this distinction, because Christianity is So. Much. More. than a list of do’s and don’ts.

I mean, for crying out loud, we have the opportunity to know the Man who created the world and everything in it – Jesus!

But alas, there is another terrible misconception regarding our “relationship” with him.

Most people focus on the aspect of Jesus being “Lord.”

Person pet peeve: I hate when people refer to the Father or Son as “the Lord.” It just seems so impersonal...

No offense if you do this lol.

But anyway, although this is true, at the same time, it’s not.

This is the difference between the poetic and the analytical.

For hundreds of years, cultures knew the value of the poetic and spoke in terms that the heart could understand, but this has been lost in the last few hundred years with the Enlightenment and the Modern Era, with their emphasis on knowledge, pragmatism, and seeing religion as a functional means to enact change instead of a path to lead people to their Creator.

Let me explain:

The analytica deals in terms of breaking things down to get a good look at their parts – looking at the tress, but not seeing the forest. You could say that they miss the big picture because of this...

When asked what a kiss entails, someone dealing in the analytical would say that, technically, it’s two sets of the fleshy parts forming the margins of the mouth pressing together for a duration of time, with the possible exchange of digestive fluid and the touching of the tasting organs.

Now, technically, that’s correct.

But it strips the life out of the thing it just analyzed.

Solomon – who was the wisest man who ever lived (1 Kings 3:12) – put it much better when he described the woman he was in love with and what it was like to kiss her:

“Your lips are as sweet as nectar, my bride;
    Milk and honey are under your tongue.”
(Song 4:11)

So much of the church deals in the analytical that we have forgotten how to speak to what really moves us: the poetic language of the heart.

Jesus does this with those he relates to:

As the disciples walking down the Emmaus road told of their experience with him, their hearts burned within them as he expounded on the prophecies about himself.

Freaking prophecies!

Academic information can be dry to say the least; I had to read a purely academic book during my senior year in college, and I trudged my way through another one just after college.

But when Jesus spoke about prophecies with these 2 men, their hearts burned because of the One who spoke to them – even though he was veiled and they didn’t recognize who he truly was (Luke 24:15, 27, 30-32).

This is because the words of the true Jesus are empowered by “spirit and life” (John 6:63, 68).

You could almost extend that and say that anytime your heart burns when someone is speaking to you (or as you are reading something), that it’s Jesus speaking through them – even if you don’t recognize him...

The whole point that I’m trying to get at here is that there is more.

There is more to Christianity and this whole “God” thing than what most of the church teaches.

Let’s go back to the relationship piece and take a look at how the church misses the point.

It’s been said that “Christianity is a relationship, not a religion.”

Which, technically, is true.

But there are different ways that we relate to God within different seasons of our life, part of which depends on the condition of our hearts.

The lower levels consist of relating as:
  • Clay to a Potter (Jeremiah 18:6)
  • Sheep to a Shepherd (John 10:11)
  • Vines to a Branch (John 15:5)
  • Slaves to a Master (Matthew 25:21)
But Jesus never said, “I came to give you more to do.”

It was, “I came to give them life, and that they might have it abundantly” (paraphrased from John 10:10b).

When Jesus offers that life to people, they beg him for it (John 4:15, 6:34).

People ripped the roofs off of houses to get to Jesus (Mark 2:1-4).

If we knew what was really available, we’d sell everything we have to get it (Matthew 13:44) – and it would be worth it a hundred times over (Mark 10:29-30).

Jesus also said that “you shall know them by their fruits” (Matthew 7:16), and that there is a thief who comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10a).

So if something about our “Christian” religion doesn’t bring abundant life, then it’s not the way that Jesus would have us live.

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it’s a duck.

If there’s one thing that I’ve realized (at least on a head-level; my heart is still absorbing it), it’s that our relationships are the most important thing about us.

How we relate to others is the greatest determining factor of our spiritual maturity – even more-so than spiritual gifts (1 Corinthians 13:1-3).

The last 3 levels of our relationship with God deal with precisely that – a living, breathing relationship where there is intimacy and the bond of closeness that supersedes the give-and-take of reaping and sowing, or blessing and cursing – that tit-for-tat scorekeeping that people who are in a business relationship maintain because they are in it primarily for what they can get out of it.

But God is not a spiritual vending machine; if you ask for it with the wrong motives, he won’t give it to you (James 4:1-3).

Did the workers who were hired at Happy Hour (5pm) receive the wages properly due to them (Matthew 20:6-9)?

No, because his grace was sufficient for them (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Those who are concerned with accomplishing much in this world for God sometimes forget that the most important thing is to simply know him (Jeremiah 9:23-24, Matthew 7:21-23, John 17:3).

Sometimes he tells them, “Today, I’m all you get.” (John 6:28-29)

As Thomas Keating put it, “We should relate less and less in terms of reward and punishment, and more and more on the basis of the gratuity – or the play – of divine love.”

Friends who know each other deeply aren’t concerned with score-keeping...

Why not?

Because the value of the relationship supersedes any material things that have been exchanged between them.

This is where the value of the upper levels of our relationship with God come from:
  • Children relating to a Father (John 1:12)
  • Friends relating to friends (John 15:15)
  • A wife relating to her Husband (Ephesians 5:25-27, 31-32)
What really struck me about the book that I read – Wild at Heart – is that there is a profound importance on the father-son (or father-daughter) relationship.

I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your earthly father, but there is a relationship that is even more important than that one, and it’s that of your Father in heaven who desires to mentor you in order to raise you up to be your own man (or woman) of God after the desires he specifically set in your heart.

A lot of church people interpret Proverbs 22:6 –

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

– and they take “the way he should go” as “the path I follow because of my religion,” and so the children get raised in the religion of their parents (no wonder so many choose to leave the church when they move onto the next phase of their life).

But that goes back to the “slave” mentality and doesn’t take into account all the nuances and eccentricities that make each boy and girl unique.

No, our heavenly Father knows that there are desires uniquely placed in our heart and he encourages us – dares us, even! – to follow them, for if you don’t, you deny inviting him into the very places in your heart that make you the most unique, as well as the opportunities for him to open up paths in your life that you would’ve never thought possible – unless he was intimately involved in the process the whole way through.

If there is one thing I despise, it’s asexual religion: a belief system that fails – or refuses – to acknowledge the differences in men and women, and to tailor their experiences accordingly.

The yoke of asexual religion is a cruel one to bear, for it does not acknowledge us at the most fundamental level of how God created us – as men and women (Genesis 1:27).

Okay, so now I’m almost (an unbelievable) 1,900 words into this and I’ve come to a point of wrapping it up.

Basically, there is more to Christianity than what most of the church teaches. I’m not saying that what they teach is bad or false, but like I mentioned earlier, there is a way of speaking of things that are true that make them untrue (“fleshy borders of the mouth” versus “milk and honey are under her tongue”)...

I once heard a good man ask, “How would Jesus address ____ in a way that would bring life instead of just rightness?”

That, my friend, is an open-ended question, the answer to which is dependent on the given topic.

There are ways to talk about things that make them untrue – or, for that matter, unattractive or repulsive.

Our hearts seek truth and life, and I hope that you have found a little bit of each in these words – and that you find a lot more in the relationship with your heavenly Father that I hope this has encouraged you to pursue.

I hope you read your bible with a hungry heart, that you devour it as I did, and that it irrevocably changes you for the better – as God intended, from the inside, out.

Either way, I would enjoy the opportunity to discuss anything you’ve read in here, whether you love it or hate it – and no judgment on my part either way.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Whose Faith Do You Have? Why I’m No Longer a Protestant

Most people who go to church either categorize themselves as Catholic or Protestant -- or a Protestant (non)-denomination.

For me, when I became a follower of Christ in college, the only experience I really had was when my family had gone to an Assembly of God church when I was in ninth grade. So I pretty much became a Protestant by default.

My steadfast Protestantism grew as I learned things about Catholicism that I didn’t agree with, such as Scripture and tradition being sufficient for spiritual authority (see Mark 7:8), or transubstantiation.

As I grew in my knowledge about different beliefs within Protestantism, I identified myself more particularly: at first it was Assembly of God, then non-denominational, then Adventist. At the moment, I currently go to a Foursquare church (even though I hold to certain beliefs that conflict with the official doctrines of that denomination). 

But I no longer identify myself by any of these labels.

I’ve known for a while that I’m a spiritual “mutt” -- my particular belief system is a hodgepodge of several schools of thought (the strongest one -- and the only one I truly identify myself as being as evidenced by the title of my blog -- is Ransomed Heart).

Then -- through one of the members of Ransomed Heart -- I learned about a book on contemplative spirituality called Open Mind, Open Heart.

Contemplative spirituality is something I’ve kinda identified myself with since taking the You’ve Got Style quiz from North Point Community Church. Based on the quiz -- which is derived from the book Sacred Pathways -- contemplatives “draw near to God through personal adoration and heartfelt devotion” (I also scored high on “ascetic” and “intellectual,” if you really want to know).

So I was curious to learn more about what it meant to really be contemplative -- especially since other contemplative-ish sources (such as Dan Millman’s book, Way of the Peaceful Warrior) were also life-changing to me.

But I was also hesitant.

You see, the book is written by Thomas Keating, a Cistercian monk of St. Benedict’s Monastery.

Catholic.

But the book was recommended from someone that has helped shape how I view the world (in a positive way), and so I went ahead and read it.

*Insert breath of fresh air.*

This was, at the time, the only Catholic book that I had. There were a couple Catholic references in it that I disregarded (“eat the meat and throw away the bones,” as the saying goes), but on the whole, the book resonated with me profoundly.

MOTORCYCLES

Ransomed Heart also has a YouTube account, and one of the videos that they posted was from John Eldredge regarding men doing things that are physical in nature, and he referenced a book on motorcycle repair called Shop Class as Soul Craft:


I recall one time going rock climbing with a friend and his kids, which involved driving down by the river,* then walking along a trail in order to get to the (outdoor) wall. Part of me was freaking out about being away from “civilization” unexpectedly: no computers, no bathrooms, etc. (This is different when you go camping since you plan the trip out; this particular excursion caught me off-guard.)

* No, we didn’t go in a van, and no, he didn’t have any government cheese.

Once I was out there, however, it was great and a welcome escape from the technology-infused environment I so often find myself in.

Of course, the concept of the physical realm being important to masculinity intrigued me, and while I was looking at Shop Class as Soul Craft on Amazon, I saw that it was “paired” with a similar book called Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

Consequently, both went on my Amazon Wish List.

So when I’m in Barnes & Noble last week, imagine my elation when I see Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance on one of the tables!

But Jesus is cunning and promptly pulled a bait-and-switch on me, because I then noticed the book next to it, which was The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything.

Jesuits are Catholic, so they have been somewhat off-limits for me, but they also have a reputation for being intellectually fierce (remember, one of my “pathways” is intellectual). As Pat Conroy tells of his experience at a Jesuit high school, Gonzaga, in My Losing Season,

Throughout my nun-spooked, Catholic school life, I had heard and digested the urban legend of the Jesuits, the rottweilers of a Catholic boy’s education. The order had a reputation for intellectual ferocity... They were a warrior caste of the intellect, famous for the rigor of both their training and their teaching. Founded by St. Ingatius Loyola as militant advocates of the Pope, the Jesuits have always prided themselves on their fierce reputations as cunning foot soldiers of the far-ranging, free-thinking Catholic mind. Astuteness, acumen, and razor-sharp perceptions were virtues in the high precincts of the Jesuit world...

A dark sensuality and a celebration of the masculine virtues as tribal rites inhabited each corner and room of that beleaguered, ghetto-encircled school. Everything was tough about Gonzaga, including its neighbors. The Jesuits possessed a genius at making learning itself seem like a martial art... At Gonzaga, I always felt as if I should be wearing a coat of armor instead of a coat and tie.

Curious as a cat, I picked up the Guide and randomly opened to a page:

Sadness is something else that some people feel reluctant to share with God. Someone once told me of the experience of going to a movie with a close friend. Because the subject material intersected with his life, he began to sob at the end of the movie and was embarrassed. Later on, as the two sat together in a car in the parking lot, his friend sat silently and simply let him cry.

His friend wasn’t the only one showing love. The person weeping allowed another to enter into his life, giving the gift of intimacy. Can you share with God the intimate gift of your true self, your true emotions, even when you are grieving?

Hook. Line. And sinker.

Not just because of this one passage -- for I could’ve snapped a pic of the page with my phone -- but because the passage reveals an underlying belief on how to approach God -- a perspective that rang true with my heart.

LABELS

Back to my “not being a Protestant.”

I don’t consider myself a Protestant any more.

No, I’m not becoming Catholic.

No, it’s not just because I bought a second Catholic book.

It’s because buying the Jesuit book made me realize that there are others out there who have walked this journey of faith -- specifically the particular paths that I want to travel -- even though they may come from belief systems I may not whole-heartedly agree with.

And that, when I label myself as something other than simply a follower of Christ, I unintentionally “box” myself -- and God -- into only being able to operate or relate in a certain way.

So I encourage you, reader -- especially those of you who were raised in church -- examine what you believe based on your experiences with God and your reading of Scripture and other sources. Don't just passively accept what your church or your family believes.

In the end, your beliefs are the only ones that matter, anyway (Ezekiel 18:20).

Saturday, May 25, 2013

"I’m fine": It’s Not Okay to Not Be Okay

Is it ever okay
to not be okay?
Where perfection is expected
as if it was the only selection,
Continually faking smiles,
Hiding, all the while,
Who I am underneath,
Wondering when someone will See
that I’m not who I present myself to be.

Is it ever okay
to not be okay?
I would love to be fully known
instead of feeling all alone,
but ask me how I’m doing
and every time
I’ll casually respond with
“I am fine,”
Knowing that it’s a calculated reply,
a complete and utter lie.
But I still use it every day
because it’s not okay
to not be okay.

Who I am underneath
is the most important thing
about the face that I see
in the mirror looking back at me.
I wish it would reflect
something more than the circumspect;
hope, perhaps, or even love,
or something heavenly from above.
I acknowledge that God still works wonders,
but right now I’m still under
whatever it is I’m dealing with.

I would love to let you in
to help me bear this burden
but during service
we’re always hurrying,
Not allowing space
for each person’s face
to truly reveal
the man behind the curtain
that we’ve so carefully concealed
Because it’s not okay
to not be okay.

It’s not okay
to not be okay.
I’m sick of being another
stained glass masquerade.
Can’t you see
that it’s impossible for me
to go from victory to victory
When I’m the one to blame
for my troubles and my shame,
For the pain and the strife
that I have in my life
and deal with on a daily basis.

But when I look at everyone’s faces
I can’t let them see
that I’m not really free, because
it’s not okay
to not be okay.

When you tell me I did great
Can’t you see, a difference, it doesn’t make
Because the only type of connection
is casual communication;
There’s no deeper relations
because we only deal in faces
and not the deeper longings of the heart…

And so I will continue showing up
wondering when I will catch a break
and finally come across
the things for which my heart aches.
But in the meantime
when I encounter the parade,
Expect me to show up
as a stained glass masquerade,

Because it’s not okay
to not be okay.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Thoughts and Reflections on Matthew 25's "Parable of the Talents" (Revised)

For those who don’t know, Matthew 25 contains 3 major sections:
  • Parable of the Ten (Wise & Foolish) Virgins (1-13)
  • Parable of the Talents (14-30)
  • Final Judgment / Sheep & Goats (31-46)
All, in one way or another, deal with the final judgment and the end of time.

Taking a look at the parable of the talents, one servant in particular is given more attention than the others, and that’s the one who doesn’t do what he’s supposed to (and is apparently punished accordingly).


This teaching has been, in the past, used to manipulate people into performance-based activity versus a substance-based faith that revolves around a relationship with our Creator and Redeemer.

The relationship will inevitably lead to action as we open up and allow the Spirit of God to transform us, but actions don’t automatically lead to a relationship (Matthew 7:21-23). As Ellen White wrote in Steps to Christ,


There are those who profess to serve God while they rely upon their own efforts to obey His law, to form a right character, and secure salvation. Their hearts are not moved by any deep sense of the love of Christ,* but they seek to perform the duties of the Christian life as that which God requires of them in order to gain heaven. Such religion is worth nothing.

When Christ dwells in the heart, the soul will be so filled with His love -- with the joy of communion with Him -- that it will cleave to Him; and in the contemplation of Him, self will be forgotten. Love to Christ will be the spring of action. Those who feel the constraining love of God do not ask how little may be given to meet the requirements of God; they do not ask for the lowest standard, but aim at perfect conformity to the will of their Redeemer. With earnest desire they yield all and manifest an interest proportionate to the value of the object which they seek. 

A profession of Christ without this deep love is mere talk, dry formality, and heavy drudgery.

* Recall that the two most important commandments -- loving God and loving others -- both revolve around love (Mark 12:29-31).

In verse 24, the master is described (by the servant) as harsh and a gatherer of fruit he didn't plant (NLT); as having high standards, hating careless ways, demanding the best, and making no allowances for error (MSG); a hard man and reaping where he has not sown (NKJV).

The thing that’s tossed around about this is that it’s understood that God is fair and just, but harsh and a cheat? He can seem like he's not making the best decision on our behalf, but that's just about always because we're not seeing things from the Larger Story (biblical perspective) point of view. The Message has its merits, but not so much when it says “making no allowances for error” – because, obviously, that's not true.

So the thing on this is that most people get how God is a master on the relational scale (since we are the servants), but they don’t usually see how this captures his true nature in relating to us long-term.

When I spoke at my church last year about the Beautiful OutlawCast – a simulcast that addressed the personality of Jesus – the scripture that the Holy Spirit brought to my mind the night before was Luke 19:21-22. This is when the servant who believed that his master was an “austere” man gives an account. He was fearful of his master; the Greek word (Strong's #G5399) means when someone is put to flight because of being terrified (reminds me of Adam hiding from God in the Garden, “I was naked – read: vulnerable – and I was afraid because of my vulnerability, which is why I hid”).

The servant didn’t really know the master, and so the master is, in a way, being portrayed as something he is not. And to be honest, I can’t really blame how the master acted, being falsely accused – and by a subordinate at that! No one likes to be misunderstood, and God is no exception to that rule (Jeremiah 9:23-24).

Yes, there are some things that we get to question and prod to find out answers to:


More important than what you ask, though, is how you ask.

However, there are other things that you simply don’t get to question God about:

“Woe to the one who quarrels with his Maker – an earthenware vessel among the vessels of earth! Will the clay say to the potter, ‘What are you doing?’ Or the thing you are making say, ‘He has no hands’?” ~ Isaiah 45:9

We humans have a tendency to get too big for our britches, as the saying goes. In other words, we forget our place in life and demand too much of those who, in reality, owe us nothing (*cough* God *cough*):


Then we come to Matthew 25:26, where the master – who we can easily infer is symbolic of God – calls the servant wicked and lazy...

Most people get that that might be the truth in being lazy and acting out of wickedness for some people (e.g., the wicked at the final judgment), but when it's used in comparison to how God views us (those who have professed faith in Christ) and what we're primarily used for? That's a bit sketchy. From that point of view, it's basically teaching that that's how God sees us when we mess up and that we don't get second chances.

This is why we learn self-fulfilling prophecy in psychology: you believe something, and then you behave in a way that makes it come true, thus (further) confirming your beliefs. Case in point, check out the following clip (0:00-0:46):


The master was not austere; he was generous according to their abilities. This 1-talent servant freaked out with only 1 talent; how do you think he would’ve responded if his master had given him 10?! His master would’ve been ten times as pissed for the misuse of ten times the ability, so giving this servant only a little was actually a compassionate – read: loving – action because he had less to be judged for. The master was fully aware of what the servant could handle and didn’t give any him more than he could bear.

Matthew 25:19 says that it was “a long time” before the master returned. Fear wasn’t just a one-time response for this servant; it was a way of life, and the fearful do not inherit the kingdom.

I didn’t realize that particular point until John Eldredge pointed it out in Revelation 21:8 -- and notice who gets mentioned first! (Hint: it’s the fearful.)

I had a bumper sticker one time that said, “God sends no one to hell; those who ignore Jesus send themselves there.” Keep in mind that the master was generous to those who were loyal to him (2 Chronicles 16:9a); the servant who was loyal to his fear elicited that particular reaction from his master. The master didn’t want to be like that, just like a father doesn’t want to have to discipline his children, but sometimes it has to happen because of the love the father has for his children. And for a God who is Love, every action of his is always founded on his nature, which is love:


The story is almost told from the perspective of each servant. The fearful servant also didn’t truly know his lord because “perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18). Again, this whole thing is about relationship, not just obedience (reference Matthew 7:21-23).


This is one of the things I’ve really appreciated about the TV show, Once Upon A Time, because you can see how transformative love is in people’s lives:
  • Rumplestiltskin opens up to Belle in order to express himself in a moment of emotional vulnerability;
  • Charming defends Ruby (the werewolf) in the midst of an insurrection lead by his former enemy;
  • Emma realizes how much her parents cared for her by sending her away when she sees the nursery that they had set up for her and the broken dreams that it represented;
  • Regina (the evil queen), out of love for Henry, is able to get along with the husband of her long-time enemy and, out of love for Daniel, finally lets him go because you can’t force a true relationship (reference Proverbs 18:19).
This servant didn’t let the love and grace of God open up and transform him, and so he never established a relationship with his Maker that had any substance to it – meaning that he didn’t truly know his master, which is what God wants from us, anyway (John 17:3).


Okay, so, some people understand that we have certain things we need to take care of and are appointed to do as followers of God. But what does this teach when we're basing that idea on a “one time does it” mentality kinda story like this? I mean, this is talking about the final judgment. So, yes, God is fair, but how does this capture his heart if it's taught with such a binding “works” mentality?

I’ll reference the point I made above about the fact that this servant had made a lifestyle out of living by fear. “Contempt” is one of the responses that are given to the wicked (Daniel 12:2). The Hebrew word (Strong's #H1860) is used twice in the Old Testament and translated “abhorring” or “contempt,” both of which imply something that is repulsive (“lukewarm” comes to mind, Revelation 3:15-16). Contempt is an emotion felt toward someone, and although God will invariably love every single person who has ever lived, who could blame him for being broken-hearted toward those who have continually spurned his wooing heart?

By the way, it’s only those who we love that can break our hearts in this way, and God is no different since we are made in his image. This is something that I realized about Jesus and Judas a while back:

Any one of us, knowing that Judas would betray us, would act in a way that would bring about that betrayal (self-fulfilling prophecy, anyone?). We would be callous toward him, dismissive, bitter, etc., and he would be justified in harboring feelings of resentment that would lead to betraying us.

But love, by definition, does not do that. It is patient, tender, humble, selfless, “keeps no record of being wronged,” “never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance” (reference 1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

Jesus, because of his loving nature, could not and would not and did not ever give up on trying to win Judas’ heart. He was vulnerable with Judas, fully expressing the heart of God, “not willing that any should perish” (2 Peter 3:9). As John Eldredge wrote of God in Wild at Heart,


God's relationship with us and with our world is just that: a relationship. As with every relationship, there's a certain amount of unpredictability, and the ever-present likelihood that you'll get hurt. The ultimate risk anyone ever takes is to love, for as C.S. Lewis says, "Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal."

But God does give [his heart to us] -- again and again and again -- until he is literally bleeding from it all. God's willingness to risk is just astounding -- far beyond what any of us would do, were we in his position.

Which means that the consequences of Judas’ actions – his betrayal of Jesus – fall squarely on his own shoulders.

The Holy Spirit is no different with each of our own hearts, as Jehovah spoke of ancient Israel:

Now I will sing for the one I love
a song about his vineyard:
My beloved had a vineyard
on a rich and fertile hill.
He plowed the land, cleared its stones,
and planted it with the best vines.
In the middle he built a watchtower
and carved a winepress in the nearby rocks.
Then he waited for a harvest of sweet grapes,
but the grapes that grew were bitter.

Now, you people of Jerusalem and Judah,
you judge between me and my vineyard.
What more could I have done for my vineyard
that I have not already done?
When I expected sweet grapes,
why did my vineyard give me bitter grapes?
(Isaiah 5:1-4)

God does everything that he possibly can in wooing and winning our hearts that does not violate our own free will:


To force himself on us would be the equivalent of spiritual rape and would be appalling to the utmost degree imaginable. Could you imagine any judge or jury returning with a “not guilty” verdict for a husband who forced himself onto his wife -- repeatedly -- against her will? Even though it’s morally lawful for them to have sex because they're married, if he forces it against her will, it’s still rape – which would then make it unlawful.

So for Judas – as well as this servant – to continue to resist God’s gentle-yet-persistent beckonings is going to invariably leave God hurt.

Despite our love for someone, which one of us wouldn’t feel some contempt toward a person who broke our heart?

DISCLAIMER: Contempt does not mean unforgiveness. In the strictly literal sense, yes, the wicked at the end of time are unforgiven – because they did not accept Jesus’ atoning sacrifice – but they are also still deeply loved by their Creator. More on that thought in this post.

It probably wouldn’t be a stretch to imagine this guy as a fence-rider, either, never really leaning one way or the other (again, the “lukewarm” issue surfaces).

Don’t get me wrong, Jesus gets pissed at people, but it’s typically the people who know what they are supposed to do and then don’t do it; these are presumably the people who would have the best chance of truly knowing God (reference John 5:39).

He also has a compassionate side, though. Matthew 12:20 says “a bruised reed shall he not break.” He’s tender with the broken, the wounded, etc. He was always looking to mend hearts in addition to people’s physical frailties.

“But if you had known what this means – ‘I will have mercy, and not sacrifice’ – you would not have condemned the guiltless.” ~ Matthew 12:7

There’s no way I’m going to presume that I know how God judges people, because I don’t. But it’s like the whole faith-versus-works thing – there’s evidence for both sides, and there is no way we’re figuring out how much God is "made up" of each one. There’s mystery here, that’s for sure.

“Paradox: Life’s a mystery. Don’t bother trying to figure it out.” ~ Peaceful Warrior

Yes, obey God in feeding the hungry, etc., etc. But God doesn't hate you and immediately toss you to the side or into a dark pit where there's gnashing of teeth (Hell, most people would assume).

Some can have a real issue with how people portray God in this strict comparison with the master. But Jesus explains that God is going to deal fairly with it. Which, yeah, he is. But it’s easy to think that the master in the story was a bit extreme – and that can have devastating effects in how people view their lives.

I remember reading about when "Samuel" appeared to Saul in the Old Testament after being summoned by a medium (which, by the way, attempting to communicate with the dead is/was strictly forbidden, Deuteronomy 18:9-12).
  1. The Mistake (1 Samuel 28:7-11). Saul consults with a medium.
  2. The Misperception (1 Samuel 28:14). Notice that the scriptures do not say that it was Samuel, but that Saul perceived that it was Samuel. If angels can disguise themselves as people (Hebrews 13:2), then it's not too much of a stretch to say that fallen angels can imitate people, too.
  3. The Message (1 Samuel 28:19-20). “Moreover” in verse 20. In other words, “Above and beyond the news I have already given you, here’s some more bad news.” Notice Saul’s reaction: “then Saul... was sore afraid because of the words of Samuel.”
  4. The Murder (1 Samuel 31:4, 1 Chronicles 10:13-14). As if I needed to go further, it is written that God specifically killed Saul for his consultation with the medium.
Notice that in 1 Chronicles, the text explicitly says that Saul didn’t approach God about it, but that he went to a woman who had a familiar spirit; would I be presumptuous to say that God desired for Saul to seek the answer from Himself? But no, Saul wouldn’t humble himself and take a chance with God (Micah 6:8), so he played it safe and consulted what he thought was a safe bet...

It’s usually the heart-level issues that are important.

Too much emphasis on obedience focuses on the symptom (e.g., inaction), similar to the “check engine” light on a car. Just don’t forget to take a good look under the hood – read, under the surface – every once in a while...

God’s heart is for us to repent, to turn ourselves back toward him and away from our selfish ways of handling life (Ezekiel 18:31-32). Satan would give a message that is intended to rob us of hope and for us to give in to despair, which is exactly what happened to Saul.

“God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love...” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear...” ~ 1 John 4:18

Again, recall that this servant made his fear of his master a lifestyle that he lived out for a considerable period of time. He didn’t truly know his master, which means that his perception of his master was false, but that his false perspective caused a (falsely perceived) reality to occur that confirmed his misperception.

Bottom line:

Get to know God.

Allow his love to fill and transform you.

And then take your filled and transformed self and get ‘er done.