"Over the line!"

* title of the blog from The Big Lebowski re: breaking the rules

I live in the city and commute about 45-50 minutes to work every day. I spend a lot of time on the interstate, most of it in the right lane doing the speed limit and minding my own business.

Every now and then someone will come up behind me and drive on my bumper for no reason whatsoever other than they apparently don't have the situational awareness to go around someone driving slower than them. It's really annoying.

What I also find annoying is people who cut over in front of me when it's not necessary. Like, stay in your lane, bro! (Ladies to this too, I'm sure.)

I found myself thinking that it's unfortunate that being rude, being an a--h---, is not against the law. I would much prefer for everyone to treat each other with civility. When I'm at my best self, I'm very gracious and am able to live this out pretty well (I'm not perfect by any means).

I came across 2 identical situations in the last week that also exemplify rudeness:

• Many of my eighth graders are reading a novel in English class. As one of them was leaving class the other day, he turned to his classmates and said, "____ and _____ die." (He hasn't been reading the novel with them in class, he looked up a summary on the internet.)
• My friend's ex-husband -- whom she has to interact with because of visitation rights & child support for their kids -- texted her Thursday after the premier of Avengers: Infinity War and spoiled the ending.

My unedited, heart-level response is some serious channeling of Treebeard from Two Towers:

"There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of Men for this treachery."

Like, there is no punishment for the level of jerk one has to be to betray their fellow man in that regard. Nothing that I can come up with, anyway, apart from a serious beating.

(Part of me also feels like Obi Wan pleading with Anakin about turning to the Dark Side.)

While lamenting about this, I realized something: being rude to each other is against the Law.

And one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, and perceiving that he had answered them well, asked him, Which is the first commandment of all?

     And one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, and perceiving that he had answered them well, asked him, "Which is the first commandment of all?"
     And Jesus answered him, "The first of all the commandments is: 'Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.' This is the first commandment.
     "And the second is like it, namely this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is none other commandment greater than these." ~ Mark 12:28-31

No one will be punished for their crimes in this life -- besides, I would rather people show lovingkindness toward each other than for them to be punished.

It does bring some comfort to know that there is, in the end, accountability for all the unloving things a person has done.

But What About the Sacred Romance?

Anyone who's spent time with me discussing religion is likely aware that I'm a fan of a view of Christianity known as the Sacred Romance. It is a poetic/romantic look at the world and seems to be a version of Christianity that is, as for Dorothy, as colorful as Oz is to Kansas.

With all the "God is love" stuff, how does punishment for sin fit in? As Kanye West recently tweeted:

I don't subscribe the term and concept of God fearing. That's a dated mentality that was used to control people. We are in the future. If God is love and love it's the opposite of fear then... to fear God makes no sense

I'll be honest, that made me scratch my head when I read it because I'd never thought about it that way before:

     I understand what the phrase means, but dang if this ain't a whole other perspective on the phrase "God-fearing."
     Makes me appreciate the romantic & poetic nature of the Sacred Romance.
     Be define by love, not by fear.

But then I had an additional thought:

We also mustn't discount the place of fear in bringing people to God, for "it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment" and "it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God" (Heb 9:27 & 10:31).

God loves us enough to have offered us forgiveness through Jesus' sacrifice, and He loves others enough to punish those who wrong them (Matthew 25:31-46).

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Televangelists

* In an effort to encourage my writing, I will be adding shorter posts from time to time. This is one of them.

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver recently did an episode on televangelists:

I'm certainly not denying scriptures like Luke 6:38, but those scriptures can be abused when taken out of context of the larger gospel. When you give only to get you will not reap -- that's greed, AKA the love of money (which is the root of all evil, 1 Timothy 6:10).

This is what I love about the Sacred Romance -- your *heart* in the matter makes the difference, not just what you *do* (Matthew 6:1-2,5, 15:8).

     Money is one of the places where Christianity shines, I think. The world says, "Chase money. Money is your security." God says, "Chase Me; I'm your security."
     The point, I think, is not to be obsessed about money. I don't really think about money that much. I think about being productive, being fruitful, being a man, working hard -- and trusting God to take care of us.
     I think this is what Jesus meant when he said, "Don't worry about money. Focus on God and His way of doing things, and He will take care of you." (Matthew 6:19-20, 24-34)
     How we look at that -- what we believe about that -- changes everything.
~ John Eldredge

Although I don't believe that God *wants* people to be poor ("you can't *help* the poor if you *are* the poor"), saying God wants you to be rich isn't exactly right, either

The difference?

Followers of God focus on others; the rich focus on themselves (by buying “parsonages” for $6,500,000).

The Ultimate Acts of Humility: Transparency, Vulnerability, Surrender

For anyone who doesn't know, I attend Celebrate Recovery meetings. A guy came in last week for the first time and bared his soul to a room of strangers.

I was blown away by his humility.

First, it takes humbling yourself to even show up; then it's another thing entirely to open up and speak those things which you secretly wish no one would ever find out.

It takes incredible humility to come to terms with and admit that you're terribly broken.

This thought crossed my mind that night:

Transparency, vulnerability, and surrender are among the most humble of actions available to the human heart.

You can't be transparent without being vulnerable:

I didn't upload the video, but it is, by far, one of my favorite movie scenes of all time: there is a part of me that would love to do what Stu does, to come clean and admit all my wrongs, to be completely transparent, to stop hiding.

But I'm not sure people will like what's underneath, and I desperately want to be accepted of them.

And so I hide.

Having pastors tell you from the pulpit that they don't have any tolerance for those who struggle doesn't exactly help, either.

But back to humility: you can't surrender without making yourself vulnerable, either.

Jesus certainly modeled this when he humbled himself and was surrendered to his Father's will, to die on a cross (Luke 22:42, Philippians 2:8).

I also realized during this meeting that if I could've healed myself, I would've already.

But my wounds are beyond my skill to heal (if I even have any).

And because I'm wounded, I act in ways that hurt others. As the saying goes, "Hurt people hurt people."

This doesn't make me a jerk; it just means that I'm broken.

In my mind, I know that what's required is to humble myself and surrender to God, allow myself to be vulnerable and to let him in, to allow his love to transform me from the inside, out.

In my heart, it's another story. Oh, how many things there are to vie for our attention these days...

My heart has made agreements with where it believes it will find life, and so it goes looking for what it believes is "life" in things that aren't healthy (Proverbs 14:12, anyone?).

I know that my mind can keep my heart in check...

...but given a choice between chocolate and vegetables, in the moment I choose chocolate, but 20 minutes later when I'm sick to my stomach, I'll wish that I had chosen the veggies.

To quote C.S. Lewis,

The heart never takes the place of the [mind]: but it can, and should, obey it.

Even though we're emotional creatures, we have the ability to be rational as well; we just have to separate ourselves from our emotions in the moment. Not always -- or ever -- an easy thing to do, but we become the men/women that we want through the choosing in the little moments.

So here's to choosing God when it matters: when our hearts desperately need him, even though we may, in the moment, want something else more than him...

Roost Yourselves: Musings of a Restless Sleeper

Come, friends,
Roost yourselves upon My branches,
And you will find relief
From your nightmarish fancies.

Unable to find rest in this tumultuous sea
Of blankets tossing from restless sleep,
Swim a lap with Me to find your peace.

For though it is yet night,
The birds outside sing to My delight
And remind you of the coming dawn.

It will not always be this dark,
And then you’ll find that you’re not alone.

But in the mean time,
Trust that I’m still with you
As I promised that I would always be.

Follow My whispers,
And you will always find Me.

Some Thoughts on Shaving from Someone Who's Not a Fan of It

I'll be honest: the only reason I'm clean-shaven on my face is because I hate having facial hair more.

I hate shaving -- or, at least having to shave -- but I hate having facial hair more.

I suppose that it doesn't help that I don't have a lot of facial hair (it's not really thick). Apparently it's so sparse that, according to a good friend who has used make-up techniques to help other guys' beards seem more full, I "don't even have enough to work with," even if I wanted to grow it out.

One day, while expressing my frustration about shaving and looking for a long-term solution for my loathing of this grooming chore, a buddy of mine  -- who was completely oblivious to my dilemma -- sent me the website Dollar Shave Club:

I had previously been using my electric razor every 2 days or so (I can get away without shaving for a day and no one really notices, so of course I don't shave every day).

But I was looking for something different -- not really sure what -- and here's this Whisper (Sacred Romance reference) calling me in the direction to transition to a razor and shaving cream.

Pffff.

Dismissal of the idea with a casual wave of the hand.

No way I'm going in that direction; it's more inconvenient than using my electric razor, and what I'm looking for -- now that I think about it -- is something easier.

Never mind the fact that "easy doesn't enter into adult life" (The Weatherman).

So I cut my hair last week and you would never guess what happened.

No really; go ahead and see if you can guess what happened.

I'll give you a hint: I always make sure to shave when I cut my hair.

Can't figure it out? Yeah, I wouldn't have guessed, either.

My electric razor broke.

Oh, no.

What actually happened is that the "on" button you're supposed to push in to make it slide up and turn on got "stuck" in the "3" position (the furthest spot up that activates the secondary trimmer) so that I couldn't turn it off.

I finished using it the best I could, but then I had to let it sit on the sink -- as if it were in time-out because it had done something wrong (as opposed to user-error for not following the Wild Goose) -- and let the battery run down.

It was like a kid crying because they were bad and had to sit in the corner or go to their room: it was an untenable situation and I was helpless to intervene and make things right.

My electric shaver is out of commission; he threw a pitch and pulled his shoulder.

"Give me the righty!" The coach calls to the bullpen for his relief pitcher..

Enter the good ol' low-tech Gillette shaving cream and Mach 3 sampler that I happened to have and kept stored in a box with my excess toiletries.

I've had to use it for the last week or so, and of course, as with any change, there's a sense of loss for what used to be the status quo because -- let's face it -- we get used to things how they are and we're averse to change (for the most part).

But today I realized something.

First, I wasn't ever taught how to shave. I imagine that many men today aren't. My dad kept a trimmed beard and used an electric on his neck, so I never learned how to shave from him.

Then you get to factor in the reality of me not having a lot of facial hair (I was a late bloomer and didn't really have to shave until college), and it's no surprise that I never learned how to shave.

I've had an electric razor pretty much all my life. I bought a really nice Braun during college, and it lasted for almost a decade (until it broke last week).

You ever have one of those times where you feel God prompting you on something, and then you're like, "No way"?

This was one of those times.

And then I was kicked out of the proverbial eagle's nest and forced to (learn how to) fly.

And with any change that one is forced (against their will) to accept, I pouted.

At first.

But then I realized that it's not as bad as I figured.

I'm (sort-of voluntarily) shaving (what I would now call "shaving" as opposed to just "cutting facial hair") for the first time in my life. And I'm 30.

And then I had some questions.

Why are you supposed to shave with the grain and not against it? Wouldn't that make more sense?

So I did what pretty much anyone does when they have a question: I went to the most all-knowing source I knew of.

That's right. I Googled it lol.

And I came across something that dealt with wet shaving.

I saw this term, wet shaving, on an info graphic on one of my favorite websites, I Waste So Much Time, last week as well (it's #6, although a lot of the info on there is good stuff):

So I started looking into that. And I stumbled upon this post from Today.com about shaving.

I learned more in 10 minutes than I had in 30 years.

Because Someone was fathering me through an area of my life where I had previously been a (very unhappy) orphan -- prompting me to go in a direction that would bring me more life.

Yes, I was pushed into this, "kicking and screaming" (to quote Tyler Durden), but I'm realizing that the grass on this side of the fence is a lot greener than I thought. (Of course it is, when your Father goes before you to prepare it for you, Deuteronomy 31:8.)

Just today, I ended up cutting my hair and shaving after my shower (usually it's hair, shave, then shower).

For part of the wet shave, your facial hair has to soak up the water, which causes the hair to soften and makes it easier to cut instead of practically ripping it out of your face when it's dry.

I had to rinse my face afterward since I had already showered (the shower would normally rinse the excess shaving cream off for me).

Yes, it was inconvenient.

Yes, it took up more of my time.

But I felt so much better after a haircut and a good shave (my "whiskers" had grown out for several days).

And this came to mind:

I would add "grooming" to the list of eating and exercising; you feel better about yourself when you take care of yourself and show yourself some love. You end up taking more pride about who you are (which explains why I always feel better about myself after I cut my hair).

And that's what really hit me today: the "inconvenience" of having to slow down and pay attention to what I was doing -- instead of just running an electric razor all over my face -- forced me to be more present (Peaceful Warrior reference) to, and take more care in, what I was doing.

Living on autopilot is somewhat of a habit of mine, and so anything that breaks this up is a "welcome inconvenience," if you will.

That, and I realized that wet shaving is the men's grooming equivalent of operating a straight-drive: it's just more masculine, and it's more unplugged from the Matrix of this world's artificially created realities (more on that another time).

Will I sign up for Dollar Shave Club? I don't know. In the short term, probably.

In the long term, getting a badger-hair brush and a real double-edged safety razor -- or even a straight razor -- may be somewhere down the road, but I have yet to come upon that part of the path with the One who is leading and fathering me in these unfinished places in my life...

Slight-of-Hand

People came to church looking for God
but got religion in its place,
a slight-of-hand technique
from their soul’s Enemy…

They never even saw it coming
or realized that they had been deceived,
but the desires in their hearts
for a God who was loving and strong
simply would not go away…

So they found ways to medicate
or bury their heart so that
they wouldn’t have to face the reality
that the geography of their life
didn’t match the desires that were
still waiting,

deep in their hearts…