Thoughts from Christmas Morning

If saying "Merry Christmas" is offensive to you, then you need thicker skin.

First, be happy for other people without taking offense (on behalf of others). Chances are that someone celebrating a holiday and exchanging gifts is not against your religion (if you’re not expressly Christian).

Life is tough, so get a helmet:

(By the way: if you exchange gifts on December 25, you're celebrating Christmas.)

Second, saying something as simple (and religious) as “Merry Christmas” would land you in seriously hot water in communist Russia.

To quote Pavel Tsatsouline, a former trainer of the Russian military police:

Merry Christmas! 

If you are not a Christian and you took offense I respectfully ask you to reconsider. I grew up in the Soviet Union where you could get expelled from school, dishonorably discharged from the army officer’s corps, or put an end to your career for wishing someone a merry Christmas. Christmas celebrations were supplanted with "New Year" celebrations to keep God out of our lives.

We are currently living in a country where every-day citizens -- not the government -- are policing people for saying things that others find offensive.

Who needs secret police when we do this to each other?

We will never achieve world peace until each person becomes at peace with themselves.

If you are not at peace with yourself, then you’re part of the problem. For the sake of yourself and the rest of the human race, please pursue peace.

I would encourage you to check out the movie Peaceful Warrior (or Way of the Peaceful Warrior if you're more of a reader):

To quote Socrates, the philosophical mentor in the movie:

"I call myself a Peaceful Warrior because the battles we fight are on the inside."

In Closing

So, Good Morning & Merry Christmas!

“Oh, and in case I don’t see you: good afternoon, good evening, and (to all a) good night!” (h/t Truman Burbank & Saint Nicholas)

Humanistic Psychology and Spiritual Elitism

"And of the children of Issachar, which were men that had understanding of the times, to know what Israel ought to do; the heads of them were two hundred; and all their brethren were at their commandment." ~ ! Chronicles 12:32

I used to have a man who mentored me spiritually. I had asked him to because I thought he would be a good fit for me.

Unfortunately, he was (and probably still is) part of the camp whose typical advice can be clichéd into "just pray and read your Bible."

In a sense, I get where that line of thinking comes from. It is, after all, the Spirit that dwells within us that guides us into all truth (1 John 1:27).

But God, in his incredible humility, also allows us to need each other:

• "God" is actually a Trinity of persons and thus a circle of relationship (1 John 5:7)
• God brings all the animals before Adam and, lacking true companionship, makes him a wife, Eve (Genesis 2:18-22)
• Most of the Ten Commandments (6/10) deal with horizontal (human) relationships (Exodus 20:1-17)
• We are called to love one another (Mark 12:31)

Although we could get everything from God, He allows us to be fed from others.

This is where my mentor comes back in.

He strongly emphasized, on several occasions, how useless modern psychology is to the spiritual life. And rightly so (1 Corinthians 2:14).

But my profession is that of a teacher. There are restrictions on how I am allowed to share my faith when interacting with students.

And so I must avail myself of the best psychological science available when attempting to help them with their struggles (in addition to praying for them).

It's for this reason that I must dip my toes into the "terrible" (for him) waters of psychology (similar to the way, as a Protestant I've dipped my toes into some Catholic schools of thought).

It is also a passion of mine, something that lights my inner fires.

And the world needs more people who are alive.

So while that advice is good for me, it also has its limits.

Just as all human advice does.

"Over the line!"

* title of the blog from The Big Lebowski re: breaking the rules

I live in the city and commute about 45-50 minutes to work every day. I spend a lot of time on the interstate, most of it in the right lane doing the speed limit and minding my own business.

Every now and then someone will come up behind me and drive on my bumper for no reason whatsoever other than they apparently don't have the situational awareness to go around someone driving slower than them. It's really annoying.

What I also find annoying is people who cut over in front of me when it's not necessary. Like, stay in your lane, bro! (Ladies to this too, I'm sure.)

I found myself thinking that it's unfortunate that being rude, being an a--h---, is not against the law. I would much prefer for everyone to treat each other with civility. When I'm at my best self, I'm very gracious and am able to live this out pretty well (I'm not perfect by any means).

I came across 2 identical situations in the last week that also exemplify rudeness:

• Many of my eighth graders are reading a novel in English class. As one of them was leaving class the other day, he turned to his classmates and said, "____ and _____ die." (He hasn't been reading the novel with them in class, he looked up a summary on the internet.)
• My friend's ex-husband -- whom she has to interact with because of visitation rights & child support for their kids -- texted her Thursday after the premier of Avengers: Infinity War and spoiled the ending.

My unedited, heart-level response is some serious channeling of Treebeard from Two Towers:

"There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of Men for this treachery."

Like, there is no punishment for the level of jerk one has to be to betray their fellow man in that regard. Nothing that I can come up with, anyway, apart from a serious beating.

(Part of me also feels like Obi Wan pleading with Anakin about turning to the Dark Side.)

While lamenting about this, I realized something: being rude to each other is against the Law.

And one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, and perceiving that he had answered them well, asked him, Which is the first commandment of all?

     And one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, and perceiving that he had answered them well, asked him, "Which is the first commandment of all?"
     And Jesus answered him, "The first of all the commandments is: 'Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.' This is the first commandment.
     "And the second is like it, namely this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is none other commandment greater than these." ~ Mark 12:28-31

No one will be punished for their crimes in this life -- besides, I would rather people show lovingkindness toward each other than for them to be punished.

It does bring some comfort to know that there is, in the end, accountability for all the unloving things a person has done.

But What About the Sacred Romance?

Anyone who's spent time with me discussing religion is likely aware that I'm a fan of a view of Christianity known as the Sacred Romance. It is a poetic/romantic look at the world and seems to be a version of Christianity that is, as for Dorothy, as colorful as Oz is to Kansas.

With all the "God is love" stuff, how does punishment for sin fit in? As Kanye West recently tweeted:

I don't subscribe the term and concept of God fearing. That's a dated mentality that was used to control people. We are in the future. If God is love and love it's the opposite of fear then... to fear God makes no sense

I'll be honest, that made me scratch my head when I read it because I'd never thought about it that way before:

     I understand what the phrase means, but dang if this ain't a whole other perspective on the phrase "God-fearing."
     Makes me appreciate the romantic & poetic nature of the Sacred Romance.
     Be define by love, not by fear.

But then I had an additional thought:

We also mustn't discount the place of fear in bringing people to God, for "it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment" and "it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God" (Heb 9:27 & 10:31).

God loves us enough to have offered us forgiveness through Jesus' sacrifice, and He loves others enough to punish those who wrong them (Matthew 25:31-46).

Ashamed to Take a Sick Day

It’s Monday, and I’m taking a sick day.

No, not a “mental health” day (although sometimes those are desperately needed).

A legit, “I feel like absolute crap” sick day.

And I’m embarrassed by it. I’m embarrassed to express the vulnerability – the weakness – of needing to say, “I can’t do this today.”

I’m a grown man, and so of course I should soldier on and go to work. Right???

Because hey: “dad’s don’t take sick days”:

Part of the reason I don’t like taking sick days is because there’s also this assumption/stereotype that when men get sick, they become babies:

Why is that? Why all the male-bashing?

Unfortunately, men have learned (the hard way) not to open up. Not to our friends, not to our girlfriends & wives, etc. So we keep it in.

We keep everything in.

Because let's face it, a man isn't worth anything if he can't produce income, make something of himself (is this why Paul so that he who doesn't work is worse than a nonbeliever? 1 Timothy 5:8). We love the concept of a self-made man in America but everyone is a product of the company they keep.

So could it be that, when we are sick and physically weak – when we are finally allowed to be vulnerable – that the floodgates burst and we become almost incapacitated (according to the stereotype)?

Here’s my question: How sick do I have to be to feel okay about taking a day off? How weak do I need to be to confess, “I can’t come to work today”?

• My head throbs with no movement and aches even worse with any movement whatsoever (for which taking headache meds).
• My nose runs so bad that it drips with little-to-no warning (taking pseudo-fed, using a vapor rub, and a Vick’s “inhaler” laced with menthol).
• My throat is so scratchy that I make every attempt possible to minimize talking in order to avoid coughing (so much so that it makes me want to throw back cough drops like nobody’s business).

This is not me complaining; for the most part, I’m a pretty healthy person and I can deal with some things that others can’t and don’t suffer from some things that others do.

(This is not me bragging; I’m simply listing the facts of my health at the moment.)

But I also am not used to being vulnerable enough to allow interdependence – to allow someone else to take care of me, to meet a need that I can’t take care of on my own.

In the wounds we take while growing up (see link for “not to our friends” above), we learn to become very guarded. We don’t open up because we don’t want to become (even more) hurt (than we already are).

For men, taking care of everyone else with no one to take care of us takes quite a toll on our hearts, our mental toughness. Always trudging on because of discipline and not from a core of genuine strength leaves us playing the part without feeling like we can.

So when we become sick, it allows us to truly be ourselves in expressing that weakness. As Stu Sheppard said in Phoneboooth:

“I’ve been dressing up as something I’m not for so long; I’m so afraid you won’t like what’s underneath. But here I am: I’m just flesh and blood. And weakness.”

So let’s stop shaming people for expressing weakness.

Let’s allow people to open up and be vulnerable to receive the relational food – the love – that we all need.

Let’s find ways to empower others to be as self-sufficient as possible.

And let’s look out for one another’s good enough where we can become interdependent and actually need each other.

Unexpected Thoughts on Charlottesville, Richmond, and Confederate Statues

Perhaps this is just the wrong week to try to not be political lol.

This whole deal in Charlottesville is literally hitting close to home, especially with a petition for a rally next month in Richmond.

I’ve been reflecting the last couple days on the relationship between my religion and my politics. American Christians --liberal or conservative -- have strong feelings about their political beliefs, and I’m certainly not immune to that.

Tensions and tempers are particularly high around the issue of removing statues that represent part of our history. The opportunity to pause and reflect on exactly what my relationship to culture as a Christian should be is staring me in the face, and I’ve given it some thought.

One of the great things about the kingdom of God is its ability to transcend culture and government. As a Church, we can wage spiritual war in any culture and under any government.

Which implies that we also shouldn’t be too attached to our culture or government.

I was, initially, against the removal of statues of Confederate generals; after all, it’s part of our history. Besides, I’m not a fan of changing something just because someone is offended by it.

Enter Scott Adams.

The reason for my fascination with him is because he provides an alternative viewpoint that I don’t find anywhere else. I don’t agree with everything he says, but he is a uniquely smart and insightful man that provides fairly consistent commentary on current events.

Scott Adams posted a video with his take on the removal of Confederate statues. The first point he brought up was, “Why don’t we remove statues of FDR since he imprisoned Japanese Americans in internment camps?” Wow, great related point.

Dealing with this from a persuasion perspective (his niche perspective), he stated that America’s “brand” is basically “freedom and opportunity.” We pro-freedom (anti-slavery) and pro-capitalism (anti-communism). But there are people who see these statues and, because of their life experiences, interpret them as continued evidence that America is racist.

(I don’t believe America is racist. There's a lot of thought behind this belief, but for the purpose of the blog, I’ll leave it at that.)

The true America is a set of ideas about freedom and opportunity. It is not the dirt that we live on nor is it encompassed in the objects that adorn it.

If removing the statues helps someone who has been impacted by cultural differences or had personal experience encounters with racism view America as less racist, then I’m on board:

“So if what I eat causes another believer to sin, I will never eat meat again as long as I live--for I don't want to cause another believer to stumble.” (1 Corinthians 8:13)

History is not being re-written (that’s still in the books), so calm down, Chicken Little.

A great way to go about this would be to auction them off to private citizens/organizations (hat tip to NattyZ).

All that being said, I feel that Mayor Stoney’s idea to provide context to the statues on Monument Ave is a great compromise between changing nothing and changing everything.

"Breaking Bad" on Habits

I saw this comic and was reminded of something Steven Pressfield wrote in The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles --

"Writing is not hard. Sitting down to write is hard."

It's not that pursuing our creative outlets is difficult. In fact, once we get going, the creativity just sort of "takes over" and momentum can build very quickly (e.g., last week I filled up the back of a church bulletin with notes for an upcoming blog).

No, once the snowball starts rolling, it's pretty hard to stop it.

What's difficult is unplugging from out busyness and setting the snowball in motion.

To This Day

A powerful poem about the internal wounds & heartaches that we deal with -- frequently at the hands of others. Highly recommended.

The Ticking Clock

It took a second class period sitting in the room to hear the stealthy ticking of the clock. (Perhaps it was because first period doesn’t test very well -- some of them seem skittish about silence.)

But during second period, for the first time pretty much all year, I noticed its steady, rhythmic breathing (perhaps that’s redundant).

It wasn’t until fourth period that it became incessant -- perceptually salient now that it has entered my awareness, a “face” from which I am unable to turn (for it enters my ears at all angles).

It “watches” over me like a silent sentinel, its hands “pointing” the ways to go for the students (if only they were paying attention to it).

I wonder if that sound will ever truly get out of my head, now that I have become aware of it -- similar to how an idea never truly leaves you, once your mind has processed it...

“The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Televangelists

* In an effort to encourage my writing, I will be adding shorter posts from time to time. This is one of them.

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver recently did an episode on televangelists:

I'm certainly not denying scriptures like Luke 6:38, but those scriptures can be abused when taken out of context of the larger gospel. When you give only to get you will not reap -- that's greed, AKA the love of money (which is the root of all evil, 1 Timothy 6:10).

This is what I love about the Sacred Romance -- your *heart* in the matter makes the difference, not just what you *do* (Matthew 6:1-2,5, 15:8).

     Money is one of the places where Christianity shines, I think. The world says, "Chase money. Money is your security." God says, "Chase Me; I'm your security."
     The point, I think, is not to be obsessed about money. I don't really think about money that much. I think about being productive, being fruitful, being a man, working hard -- and trusting God to take care of us.
     I think this is what Jesus meant when he said, "Don't worry about money. Focus on God and His way of doing things, and He will take care of you." (Matthew 6:19-20, 24-34)
     How we look at that -- what we believe about that -- changes everything.
~ John Eldredge

Although I don't believe that God *wants* people to be poor ("you can't *help* the poor if you *are* the poor"), saying God wants you to be rich isn't exactly right, either

The difference?

Followers of God focus on others; the rich focus on themselves (by buying “parsonages” for $6,500,000).

READ THE FINE PRINT!

I've had the same Verizon Wireless monthly plan for over 4 years:

• 450 minutes
• unlimited text
• 2 GB of data

I use autopayment, so there's no real need to look at my bill.

And I never really use all of it, so there was no reason to change.

Until I accidentally downloaded 1.5 GB's of music with the Amazon Music app (their user interface is awful!).

In a panic, I called Verizon to see what my options were.

I could pay $10/GB over, or I could change to a 3 GB plan that would cover my data-download anomaly.

I anxiously changed plans with the hope that my old plan would be there when the billing cycle was over.

And yes, the old plan was there.

But my heart sank when I realized that the grandfathered $20/month discount was gone.

I 've spent a couple years wondering why people left Verizon for carriers with lower bills; I consistently paid under $70, so I wasn't really complaining.

However, for the duration of my 2-year plan, losing the irrecoverable $20/month discount will cost me $340.

All because I made a hasty, rash decision without being familiar with my bill and the details therein.

Conclusion:

1. Read the fine print.
2. Go over your bills every month, even if it's just to maintain (2 Peter 1:12) knowledge of what the charges and credits are.
3. And verify the consequences of your financial choices before you make them.

But this isn't the only hasty decision I've made that will cost me a couple hundred dollars:

An incident recently occurred whereby I could've saved over $800.

However, in the midst of the moment, I was so overcome with shame -- I thought the incident was my fault -- that I didn't do anything about it.

Conclusion:

• Stop;
• Breathe;
• Think through the situation; and
• "Speak the truth. Always. Even if it leads to your death."

Besides, if I had stopped and prayed about the plan change, I doubt God would've told me to go through with it.

Looking back, it would've only cost me $10 anyway.